THE (LONG) WEEKND

HIP HIP CARAZY HOORAY! It's long weekend time for my fellow Canucks AND long weekend time for my lovely red, white and bleu friends!!! The madness starts tomorrow... are you all ready?! I'm finallllyyyy getting my IPAD today - white with a red cover, no less: I'm sooo Canada - and I couldn't have imagined a happier beginning to this batshit weekend. No more bitchin' about Benedict's gadgets.. I've been blessed with my own, babies! 

Many of you might be thinking: Lauren, you special, special child, you spelled WEEKND wrong in your title....you're missing the 'e' darling...that's awkward............

Now, now - calm yourselves, chickens. No grammar crimes have been committed. YES, it is the long weekend with an 'e', but it's also time a perfect time for you all to listen to THE WEEKND.  You will want this music blasting ASAP, trust-a me. This guy ignites my soul loins with his spicy melodies. Warning: It'll be very hard for you to keep your pants on after you press play. I suggest you isolate yourselves, stat. Hide your salsicce, lovers!!!!

What wicked games will you be playing over the next few days??? Promise me that whatever you're playing, you won't be protecting your lower halves with these:

Gollum feet, my precious.

I swear, I saw a man wearing these 'shoes' at Zara in NYC and was so creeped out by his webbed feet that I ran to the other side of the store to hide behind a rack of jersey. It didn't help that he was balding, crawling around on the floor and hissing violently in peoples faces...... well, not really, but, you get it. I can't even explain the full effect these psychotic foot covers had on my fragile psyche.  My advice for this scrummy weekend is thus summarized: Leave the toe condoms at home.

Before I wish you well, I feel it is my duty as your B(Blogger)FF to introduce you to Mikkat Market. If you find yourselves jonesing for some new garb this weekend, I highly recommend you finger-saunter (ew....LOL) on over to this online shop. It is a FABULOUS resource chock-full of VERY well priced sartorial scrumptiousness. I especially recommend this 'fringed poncho' - at $41 it is a baby bargoon that will carry you through the entire summer. 

Throw this puppy on over your romper, maxi, cut-offs or bather for a Crazy-approved lewk. Stevie would be proud, kids. 


Be safe and have yourselves a rip-roaringly rad weekend. I'll be back in the next couple o' days with the most incredible Sangria recipe - I swear, I've consumed an oceanload of libations and this one, in the words of my beautiful Bismah, "fffuuucckking rrrrrocks."  NEXT WEEK the insanity continues: we have Resort Pt 2, a discussion on NEON, and alotta extra absurdity to discuss before I zoot off to LA.

For now, I send you off with a question to ponder:

WHICH CRAZY GIRL RUNS THE MOTHAEFFIN FASHUN WORLD BETTER?

Follow the insanity on Twitter @CWICW  

True Lust

Bonjour, mes folles!!! How's everyone feeling on this fine day?

Every morning upon awaking from my restful slumber, I pour caffeine down my throat and peruse the news. I have a slight obsession with being UPDATED. Always have to know, know, know; we live in a fast-news culture, and I like to soak it all up like a shexy shponge.

This morning a lil' tidbit caught my eye: THE POPE IS TWEETING. ON AN IPAD. POPE, IPAD, TWEETING. It's a "Vatican Social Media Revolution" y'all! The Pope launched his new website - a gem that will obvi be continually updated by the man himself his flamingo-coloured mignons, with tweets, flickr images and youtube videos. PRAISE JESUS, Benedictus is on the worldwideweb!!!

So, I just touch here right.. OM-DIO, OM-DIO, CAN THEY SEE ME?!!??! OM-DIO!!

Honestly, I'm just bringing this up because I'm a bitter old slag that's, frankly, quite jealous of the Holy man. No, it's not the fabulous Versace-esque gold jewels he sports, or the white cape wrapped ever so around his neck. No, chickens, it's not the prime real estate he occupies. It's really just one simple thing: Benny has AN IPAD. I STILL WAIT FOR MINE TO ARRIVE. I have contracted the sin of envy. Every day I wait for it... it doesn't come... and the technophile that lives deep within me wastes away slowly.  I'm not referring to the technopile that used to listen to Da Rude's Sandstorm on the daily.... I mean the one that loves da gadgetz, babies!!

Oh lord, the sweet dirty sounds of my youth. Scrumptious.

Moving on: I have been plagued by another sin(s). I'm hoping you can all cure me join in on the lovefest!!!!

Greed, lust, gluttony, self-satisfaction (probably not a 'real' one, but damn, it feels TOO good not to be). I have a rapacious desire for things. Chief among these things is a couple of the lovely babies I picked up in NYC several weekends ago:

Byredo, Prada, leopard (leopardo e il nuovo camello, after all), and the CHANEL FALL COLORS!!! How can you go wrong?!!? My sister and I stood at the Chanel counter in Saks debating the varnishes. She chose Peridot, I argued for Black Pearl - but, and it rarely happens that I admit this: POOKIE, YOU WERE RIGHT. Peridot is the prodigious polish.

Peridotfinger, so fashun.

Another thing I'm flipping my sinworthy shit over lately is True Blood. Didja see the premiere? I've yet to watch, because I wanted to catch up on last season. But, I'm dying in hot and heavy anticipation. I was even more excited after I peeped the editorial Lara Stone and Alexander Skarsgard did together for US Vogue July. He is one shmoking piece of bloodsucking meat. I'mma show you a sneak preview, but I'm saving the rest for another fun-larious post.  Bask in his beauty. 

Feel better? Ahhh.. I do. My sins have absolved.

Oh wait, wait... Damn you, Kate Bosworth. 

That little f*cker envy alllways comes back.   

Follow the insanity on Twitter @CWICW 

Grace God-dington

THIS SHIT IS BANANAS.

Grace wears Prada like no one else. 

J'ADR

Happy Friday, Chickens! To be honest, I'm still recovering from NYC - when you come back exhausted, sore and batshit broke, it must mean you had a truly wicked time, RIGHT? Or it just means my granny ass is aging... maybe... nah. Despite my sleepwalking state, I'm super pumped to celebrate my best friend's birthday tonight; should be a mehor shit show!! I hope you all have rad pajama parties planned this weekend - of the silk-pant variety, duh, crazies!

As a kick off to this fine end-of-weeks, I wanted to share one of my all-time favourite people with you. I've done this with IRIS and with GIO, but now it's time for the ANNA treatment. Ohhh, Anna, Anna, Anna - where do I even BEGIN. I think I'll start with her fashion music video.... Why? BECAUSE I LOVE IT.

Yeah. That just happened.  You needed a fashion shower, kids - I obliged.  If anyone is feeling a teensy bit bored, wearing fringe, and adept at performing sun salutations in platforms - CALL ME. I say we all dress up as Anna one weekend and recreate this masterpiece in the middle of a busy downtown intersection ... now THAT's a F(L)ASH MOB.

Fashun is alllways uncummmmfor-ta-ble, ven you get cummfor-ta-ble, you never get....
 THE LEWK.

The Woman: Anna Dello Russo
The Occupation: Fashion Director for Vogue Nippon (Japan)
The Story: Referring to herself as a "bit fascist," this woman is the ultimate in Fash-ism. She wakes up to swim at 6am and then practices an hour of yoga every single day. Once married, her relationship ended quickly: “[My husband] said, ‘Isn’t there some closet space for me?’ And I said, ‘No.’" Owner of two scrumptious Milan apartments, she keeps one exclusively for her clothing collection.

Need any more proof that ADR has chosen fashion over everything else in life (except her dog, Cucciolina)???  I remember reading a quote from a friend of ADR's that said she would EAT the clothes if she could; she sacrificed a kitchen in her apartment for more closet space - this woman literally feeds on the fash.

Why do I love her? Well, you need only blink in her direction to determine that ADR is asylum-worthy insane-o. CRAZY doesn't even touch the tip of the iceberg, and you know how I feel about the mentally unstable. CAN'T GET ENUFF. She is an enigma. She is impeccable. She is FUN. She lives her life completely in pursuit of fashion as art. And street photographers - specifically, Tommy Ton and Scott Schuman - are making a career for her and out of her, just by waiting to snap her every move.

Anna has transformed the sidewalk into her own individual catwalk. In doing so, she has also inspired countless others to dress with a heftier dose of glamour and creativity. See for yourself, kids - go on, revel in her splendour:

Want to dress like ADR? Follow her FASHION RULES - my favourite: I can be barefoot, but not in cheap shoes:

Going on vacazione? She will teach you how to pack - mamma mia, like a club sandwich! Girlfriend says she wears ABERCROMBIE on the plane, ha ha ha, nice try.

STILL not enough Anna? Follow her blog or find her on Twitter @annadellorusso! She is constantly spewing a stream of priceless gems - I highly recommend.

Hope you all have marvelous, FUN weekends. Remember: before to get dressed, take a cue from our leader and DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. 

Follow the insanity on Twitter @CWICW 

An A-What-A?!

Last night, I was laying in bed comatosely after having drugged myself with what could be the most potent legal pill ever: the mighty benadryl. I don't normally turn to drugs - just say no, kids - but, I was experiencing some sort of uncontrollable allergic reaction. My choice was narrowed down as such: either I succumb to the drug and numb the hitchy-scratchy, or I fetch a garden rake and glide it all over my epidermis - SOOOO SEXY, SO FASHUN!!!!! Considering my last allergy rant, you understand why I often contemplate shutting myself away permanently in a plastic bubble. Yes, FO'LIFE.

BUBBLE BOY IZ SO PRADA.

There is a point to this verbal diarrhea, I promise. I was trying to find ways to distract my hands, so I... bahahahaha... you are so dirty, people. The only boner I get is a fashun one: I INDULGED IN A LIL' NEWS ON THE INTERWEB. Specifically, I finally went back to an interview Azzedine Alaia did with Virgine Magazine that I had bookmarked last month.

UHH.. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.. THIS IS AN ALAIA!!!

I remembered to go back to this interview after news broke this week that Senor Alaia had turned down the Creative Director position left vacant at Dior after our favourite Anti-Semite Pirate was booted out.

Mind if I borrow that after you scratch your eyes out? I'm still a little hivey, darling.

Boy, was this interview scrummy. Full of spicy meeta-ball, La Perla ruffling, soundbites. Check it out heyah.

Napoleon of FASHUN. 

Emporer Alaia is rubbing his tummy all the way to the BANK. He basically talks about how effing AMAZING he is. Yes, the whole time. When he insulted Unkle Karl, I laughed. When he took digs at Anna Wintour, I squirmed and nodded. Some of the little-big-man's juiciest morsels:

On Karl:

I don’t like his fashion, his spirit, his attitude. It’s too much caricature. Karl Lagerfeld never touched a pair of scissors in his life. That doesn’t mean that he’s not great, but he’s part of another system. He has capacity. One day he does photography, the next he does advertisements for Coca-Cola. I would rather die than see my face in a car advertisement. We don’t do the same work. And I think that he is not doing a favor to young stylists who might think it works that way. They’re going to fall before they retire.

On Das Fuhrer Anna:

I said it before. She runs the business (Vogue) very well, but not the fashion part. When I see how she is dressed, I don’t believe in her tastes one second. I can say it loudly! She hasn’t photographed my work in years even if I am a best seller in the U.S. and I have 140 square meters at Barneys. American women love me; I don’t need her support at all. Anna Wintour doesn’t deal with pictures; she is just doing PR and business, and she scares everybody. But when she sees me, she is the scared one. [Laughs.] Other people think like me, but don’t say it because they are afraid that Vogue won’t photograph them. Anyway, who will remember Anna Wintour in the history of fashion? No one. Take Diana Vreeland, she is remembered because she was so chic. What she did with the magazine was great, with Avedon and all the great photographers. Vogue remains while its fashion editors come and go.

SUCK MY AZZ-EDINE!

Do you agree? Disagree? SCREAM IN HORROR or LAUGH WITH AGREEABLE SMUGNESS?

Either way, Napoleon Alaia has certainly created his own path in the fashion world. He has remained steadfast to the detail, quality and luxury of his label when many others have, for lack of a better term, 'sold out'. Is he noble or foolish?

Vogue's Next Editor.

Who cares when his dog is this cute, am I right, am I RIGHT?!  ...... LOL


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Darling Donatella

RAIN, RAIN GO AWAY, COME AGAIN NEVER!

The weather is completely brutal today; the sky is crying and feeling extra emo. I bet Mother Nature is on the rag - FLO'S IN TOWN, BABIES. If it starts raining tampons and tubs of Half-Baked Ben & Jerry's, we'll know for sure. But, in the meantime, buck up, buttercups! Don't let the rain make you feel all misty! If the outside scene has you feeling low, I'm here to perk you up.

Yesterday, the fashun world was given some major news - and while I don't really like to talk news with you (because you probably already hear about it from so many others - BORE SNORE), this is kinda funny, so naturally I feel compelled to mention it: H&M just announced that the next designer collaboration coming to the mass-turbatory mecca this Fall will be a line created by none other than my favourite fashion prunella: Donatella Verrrsahhhchi. H&M + Versace is a match made in medusa heaven. Imagine how crazy those Brooklyn and Miami mamis are going after hearing this outrageous news. Ayyyy, Papi! FAH-BA-LAZZ, right!?

Not sure what inspired the Mistress of Versace's decision, considering several years ago she revealed a collabo with the store would most likely nneeever happen:

"I respect everyone who does it," Dona said. "But the reason I didn't do it is because I work very hard to put the Versace line in the luxury section. I think to put the Versace line in H&M would confuse the brand." 

Kk Donna. NEVA SAY NEVA - Bieber taught you that, kids. It seems anyone can be swayed given the opportunity to snag enough publicity dollaz. Obviously, after Cavalli, Lanvin and Rykiel have all done a collabo, Ms. D has changed her mind. I can tell you what the collection will be like, but, as someone that absolutely adores this woman, I think it's much more entertaining if you hear it from the lady herself:

Extra deets you need to know: the first collection will be out on November 17th and another pre-spring collection will be released on January 19th; two roll outs = two chances to snatch a piece of the Versace heaven. It will consist of women's, men's and homewear goodies, including "dresses that express the spirit of the season, featuring studded leather, silk and colorful prints." I'm sure there will also be oodles of OTT baubles and gaud-ccessories on offer, as well. Here's a sneak peek of what's to come:

Shexy? I'm hoping she delves right into the 90s archives - remember these bad boys????

Unfortunately, this collabo was met with outrage by some... these haters claim that, in summary, good ol' Gianni is rolling in his grave. What are your thoughts? Will you be lining up to get a cheap(er) piece of the Versace pie, or is this not really your thing? Is Versace *gasp* selling out by offering a discounted version of their trademark look to the plebians? Let's discuss, crazies!


Follow the insanity on Twitter @CWICW